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It was a hell of a day.

The ladies had a grand adventure chasing down Oscar and accidentally zombies, and the guys nearly got murdered by an eldritch horror. Again.

So now the dudes have to rest because going to the super-dangerous mines when tired is a terrible idea.

They've got a day or two to kill, so this is for what happens while the guys (mostly Malcer because holy fuck dude) are recovering.

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"I... huh. I can't argue with that logic."

Yeah that sounds like a very Velo thing to do. Really, it isn't all that surprising.

"Why not a fanny pack? Nobody would be caught dead in a fanny pack, so nobody's gonna go around stealin' those, I bet. I'll be honest though, I kind of thought you didn't even wear bras."

"No, but they'd be really easy to steal things out of, and that would require me to wear a fanny pack in the first place. I have some standards. Plus, my tail would get in the way."

Can't have a butt pack if there's a tail where the butt normally is.

"Didn't wear- Varis, do you even know how much of a hassle it would be for me to not wear a bra in public? I mean, Nin could probably get away with it, and maybe Naeris, but hell if I tried that."

"Ooooh yeah fair enough. What about a tail bag? Are tail bags a thing?"

Varis should be a dragonborn fashion designer YO.

"Dude I don't know anything about boobs other than there they are. They're just like- they're just..."

He doesn't know what they're like, he's just making vague boob cupping motions at his own chest. He had boobs once and he was terrified of them, never again.

"...Actually, a tail bag might be a good idea. It can't be too big but I could probably put a few spare tools or bullets in it."

It will have to be a regular bag, though. Velo's too far into making the magic bra to change now.

"Tell you what, tie a couple full waterskins to your chest and run around without securing them. Tell me how you feel after that."

"See, I'm a genius."

Not really, but he could be some day. Maybe.

"I don't think I'll do that ever, but I think I see where you're coming from."

He's just staring at her tits like their the weirdest things ever.

"Genius, or do you just throw out so many thoughts that some are good just by chance?"

Velo notices him staring, but doesn't make much effort to stop him. With what he went through, he's earned the right to be a little indecent.

"Shame. I was hoping you'd try it and then have Malcer or Gorudak walk in on it. Would have been funny."

"Genius because I have so many thoughts to throw out. Bam."

That's his story and he's sticking to it. Also he does catch himself staring at lizard boobs and knocks that shit off because it's rude.

"You say that as if they wouldn't expect me to just do weird shit. Like, have you met me?"

"Only if by 'throw out' you mean 'into the garbage'."

...Okay that was a little harsher than she had expected that to sound.

"You've been gettinf better recently, though. I'll give you that much, but I was still hoping you would do it just to entertain me."

"I feel like that's where most of my thoughts end up, yeah."

Harsh maybe, but not completely untrue, let's be real.

"Unfortunately, I don't have any fake tits. I also don't dance, sooooooooo, sorry, buckeroo."

"You want me to make you a pair? You could disguise yourself as a woman again without having to use a potion."

She'd totally do it, too. It shouldn't be that hard.

"Besides, the right makeup and you'd look really cute. More than you already are, at least."

"I've done that before without the boobs, worked out pretty well. I had a lot more hair back then, though. Probably made it easier to throw people off."

Do it anyway, you never know when we need a set of fake boobs.

He actually looks a little embarrassed. Just a little. He's never thought he looks bad, but he never would have described himself as cute. Probably because most people that meet him want to kick his stupid face in.

"Yeah, well. I don't think I'm gonna need it any time soon."

"Boobs make it easier, too. Make them big enough and they don't even look at your face."

Speaking from personal experience, she is.

"I bet with Malcer's help, we could even blend it in with your skin so you can have cleavage, too. You would be able to get anywhere you want and no one could identify you."

"I... yeah, I can see that working."

Considering he does it himself half the time, like a weird little creep. He's going to have to work on that.

"I can see that being pretty damn useful, though. The only thing I could see giving me away at that point is how tall I am. Like, even by human lady standards, I'm pretty goddamn tall. I stand out like a sore thumb no matter where I go, it's made some of my past jobs really tricky.

"I know how that feels. There's not enough makeup in the world to cover that. There are spells for that, though."

Ah, magic? What can't it do? Other than behave like it's supposed to out here, of course.

"Boobs aside, you holding up okay? All three of you have been quiet since you got back."

"I should look into some of those disguise spells. I can only do so much with makeup, y'know?"

The stormwall does make magic kind of a pain in the ass out here, doesn't it.

"It was real creepy in there. That like, isn't even including the fucking nightmare critter that was after us. I guess we're as good as we can be after all that shit."

"Malcer can probably teach you a few tricks. Illusion's never been my best area."

Not that Velo has a 'best area' other than 'figuring shit out as she goes', but details.

"I mean, it is a place owned by Portia. I'd expect it to be creepy. But was it more 'body parts and facial features in places they shouldn't be' creepy or just 'vaugely unsettling' creepy?"

"Maybe I'll hit him up for advice once he's feeling better."

See and the scary part is Varis is learning all his magic from watching Velo pretty much, so that could be scary.

"'vaguely unsettling' creepy. It was all pretty normal rooms and stuff, aside from that one where we were all walking on walls and shit, but the fact that we were in dead silence the entire time just creeped me the fuck out. And lemmie tell you, being that quiet for that long wasn't easy."

For Varis' sake, Velo decides to not go with the obvious joke of 'For you? no shit'. He doesn't look like he needs that right now.

"I admit, I'm curious to see what it looks like, but not enough to actually go in there myself anytime soon. Did you come out with anything good, at least? I didn't get a chance to go through the info just yet."

"Oh, yeah, we found a bunch of shit. I copied some of it in my notebook in you want to take a look some time. But uh yeah nobody is going back in there because holy shit. Kinda not worth it."

Well, maybe kinda worth it. For him, at least, but not really in a good way. It's complicated.

"I'll look at it in a bit, but for now I'm just glad you're okay."

For once, Velo's not making a joke or being sassy. She really was worried about these nerds.

"Next time you want to get in trouble, at least do it near me so I can do something about it instead of just sit here and worry."

"Sorry. I mean, to be fair, we usually all get into trouble at the same time? So that shouldn't be an issue."

Except for the Archive shit, and Velo and Nin's grand adventures in drunktown anyway.

"We do, don't we?"

Makes sense, given that they all travel together.

"We'll just keep doing that, then. Get into trouble together and make a mess of things. Save the world with poor decisions and friendship."

"I mean, aside from you blowing shit up and Nin going all Swamp Thing on Gnomeville, yeah. Also, I feel like 'Poor Decisions and Friendship' should be our motto or something. It pretty much perfectly describes everything about all of us."

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